The Anxiety of Parenting: How to Conquer Your Fear
Fear and worry keeping you up at night?
Are you scared of failing as a parent? Are you worried about your child growing up and leaving home? Do you feel like every day is a struggle and all the responsibility is on you to make sure your child doesn’t fail, suffer or become a bad person? If so, let me reassure you: it’s natural, and almost everyone goes through this.
Parenting is hard work but also rewarding (occasionally). As they say, the hardest thing about being a parent is that it lasts for forever! So here are some tips on conquering your fear and becoming the best parent possible.
Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings
Many parents experience a lot of anxiety when parenting. The anxiety may be caused by a number of things, including the natural fears that come with raising a child, worries about the child’s safety and health, concerns about the child’s development, or guilt and shame about one’s own childhood experiences. Even the greater world at large can keep you up at night. Because these thoughts and feelings are so common among parents, they are often “normalized” as part of being a parent. However, it is important to be mindful of your thoughts and feelings in order to identify when your anxiety becomes excessive. This can help you take steps to manage your anxiety so that it does not interfere with your abilities as a parent. It can also help you take care of yourself in the process of raising your child.
If you find that you are preoccupied often (ie daily or even hourly) with the health, safety, social life, or activities that your child participates in, a therapist can help you unpack these distressing thoughts.
Talk about your fears with other parents
Having a baby can make you feel like you are the only one who is having these fears and concerns, but I promise you aren’t. There are millions of parents out there who have been where you are now and could offer some helpful advice. So don’t be shy and start talking to other parents. You can find an online forum, join a parenting group or make friends with other parents in your neighborhood. You can also talk to your partner about your fears, and ask them for support. It can be helpful to share your feelings and get some reassurance from a loved one.
Remember that you are not alone
As I already mentioned, you are not alone in having these fears and concerns. With that said, it is important to remember that there are many variations of “normal” when it comes to parenting, and what is “normal” for one parent may not be normal for another parent. It is also important to remember that when you are having these feelings, it does not necessarily mean that you are a bad parent. Anxiety is a very powerful emotion, and it can be very easy to start catastrophizing and seeing every situation as a sign that you are failing as a parent. Remember that feeling this way is normal. It is also normal to have days when you are feeling more confident as a parent. And above all, remember that you are still a good parent even when you are struggling with your anxiety. When you are feeling anxious or worried, try to sit with those feelings, name them, and then let them go.
If you feel isolated and lonely even after trying some of these things, reach out to a therapist for help.
Cultivate a non-judgemental attitude
As you are cultivating these positive parenting attitudes, it is also important to cultivate a non-judgemental attitude towards yourself and your children. This means trying to avoid criticising yourself for not being “perfect” as a parent and also trying to avoid criticising your children for not meeting your expectations. Parenting is a lifelong process of learning and growth, and there is no such thing as a “perfect parent”. We all make mistakes, and the most important part is to learn from those mistakes and move forward. Trying to cultivate a non-judgemental attitude can help you be more compassionate towards both yourself and your children. It can also help you avoid slipping into shame and self-criticism, which can be very damaging to your mental health.
Take care of yourself
It is important to remember that parenting is a team effort. Both parents have a responsibility to take care of themselves so that they have the energy and resources necessary to meet the needs of their children. This means making sure that you are getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, taking time to relax and avoid engaging in self-destructive behaviours like drug or alcohol abuse. If you feel like you are constantly running out of energy, stressed out, or that you have no time for yourself, you might be experiencing a sign of burnout. If this sounds familiar to you, we recommend that you reach out for help from a mental health professional. This can help you cultivate the energy and resources necessary to meet the needs of both your children and yourself.
Reach out to a therapist for help
As I’ve said before, parenting is hard work. Sometimes, even when you make all the right choices, you may still experience anxiety about your abilities as a parent. There are some skills that you can learn and apply in your daily life, but sometimes it is necessary to seek professional help. I personally specialize in working with parents as a large part of my practice.
Conclusion
I hope that this article encourages you to look at your parenting journey with compassion and curiosity, and that it also gives you some helpful tools and ideas to manage your anxiety and be the best parent possible. Parenting can be a truly wonderful experience, but it can also be a challenging and overwhelming journey. If you feel like you are struggling, never hesitate to reach out for help. There are many people out there who want to help, and who want you to know that you are not alone.
